I had my heart ripped out of my chest and handed to me 4+ years ago by the one person I never thought would hurt me. My son. He is 21 and a beautiful child with a warm and loving heart. He is kind and intelligent. Like his mother, and much to his own detriment. But he is in love with the very definition of evil. She controls him and his every waking moment and every decision he makes. He has hurt me emotionally and even physically so that they could be together, going to great lengths to have her in his life constantly. I have tried over and over again to reach him. Like REALLY reach him. To remind him of my unconditional love for him, but he is unable to think of anyone but her. He has lost all of his friends and no one in our family will have anything to do with him because of her. I don’t understand how someone can be so controlled by such evil and hurt the people they are supposed to love the most. I have helped him time and time again try to leave her. Anything to escape her grasp and get him to safety. But his fear of being without her takes over and he goes running back. I just don’t know if I can do it anymore. I will end up dead if I don’t learn how to detach. But it’s so hard for me because to me he is still my sweet little baby boy who would fall asleep curled up next to me twirling his fingers in my hair. We have always been so close and I know you aren’t supposed to choose favorites with your children, but he has always been my favorite. Something about the bond between a mother and her son. But I have to let him go. This is the hardest relationship I have ever had to end. My heart is shattered and bleeding. I feel like I can’t breathe without him, but that may now very well be a fact of my life. I just don’t know what to do. My heart breaks for anyone who has had to deal with what I’m going through.
I’m surprised I’m not in a straight jacket, although I feel at this rate, like that is not very far away.
Oh… I almost forgot… in case you were wondering… This evil demon he is in love with… This controlling darkness… Her name is Heroin. She has taken my son from me and left me with an empty shell of who he used to be.