I Need Some F***ing Serenity!!!!!

An early morning visit with my doctor, where I had a complete and total melt down telling him I was sure I was developing schizophrenia or manic depression or in some way losing my mind, made me feel a lot better because he put me on an indefinite disability. My work granted my request for FMLA leave and now work is one less thing I have to worry about.

My son has finished his 30 days in rehab and has finally seen the light. He prays daily down on his knees (even when no one is looking), he goes to NA meetings regularly, found a sponsor and is working the steps. He has CHOSEN (on his own) to transition to the sober living Intensive Outpatient Program that his facility offers, so he is living in an apartment in Huntington Beach a few blocks from the beach and wants to get a job and work to pay for the room and board fees on his own. I hope he will stay on this path to recovery. My sons addiction is one more thing I no longer need to worry about (for now).

The situation with my mom has been sort of resolved. She apologized and is very hurt by the things that happened last night and wants me to come home. Another thing off the list. 

I have scheduled my first Mammogram appointment and my request for authorization to see a Pain Management specialist to get Epidural injections is in the works. Another thing taken care of.

I had the serenity prayer tattooed on my side several years ago. I’ve never battled addiction to drugs or alcohol. I think that this prayer is useful in every day life to everyone in every walk of life. So much of my anxiety comes from the fact that I spend endless amounts of enerfu worrying about things I have no control over. And I never face and deal with the things I do have control over. And apparently I don’t have the “wisdom” to know the difference between the two.

I’m working on it… well I’m trying to find the motivation to start working on it. 

Author: Autumn Delaney

A screwed up girl in an even more screwed up world...

2 thoughts on “I Need Some F***ing Serenity!!!!!”

  1. I’ve started having my own version of this to manage my anxiety: essentially just that what will happen will happen and that what won’t happen won’t happen. Weird enough, but strangely useful.

    Liked by 1 person

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