Boundaries Part 2…

I feel like I have to save the day. Every day. I want to help everyone and volunteer for everything. And then I get upset when I’m too over-extended and I end up flaking on a lot of people/things, which makes me feel even worse. 

Professionally, I try to take on everything by myself. Could be a fear that things won’t be done correctly if I don’t do them myself… Could be a need to be perceived as strong and capable of everything… Could be that I am just a glutton for punishment.

I am unable to set boundaries with men or friends in relationships. Bad behavior goes unnoticed, and unspoken of. I help to the point of hurting myself. I get taken advantage of, often. I’m afraid to say no and afraid that if I set boundaries that I will not be liked or that I will be seen as selfish. 

This is all to my own detriment. It makes me sick and upset emotionally and mentally when I am unable to do everything for everyone. I’m pretty sure that this ties in, somehow, to my co-dependent nature. I need to learn that I can’t fight everyone’s battles for them. 

I can’t even take care of my own basic needs right now, but I have no problem offering to drive an hour each way to pick my friends daughter up from school and take her home every day. WTF am I thinking?!

Healthy boundaries. I know there is such a thing. I just have no idea how to set them so that I don’t hurt myself and so that I don’t make people think I only care about myself. I must say though… 9 out of 10 times, when I need something, no one is there for me. 

Maybe I’m confused about what boundaries are and why I need them in my life. Why everyone needs them in their lives. I can tell you one thing though… I have got to figure out how to get my life under control or I will never get better. 

Author: Autumn Delaney

A screwed up girl in an even more screwed up world...

8 thoughts on “Boundaries Part 2…”

  1. The feelings you talk about here are familiar to me. It has taken me years to learn how to say No, and to be comfortable with that. Real friends do not constantly ask you for favours. They are taking advantage of your nature. Some may view you as a doormat, even though you think they like you for your reliability. You have to heal yourself before you can help others. By saying no, you might narrow your circle of friends, but the real ones will stick. If you truly have a charitable spirit, you’ll know where to bestow your favours, and do it on your own terms. Stop me if I have been too verbose, but this my own experience over many years. By the way, you write very well.

    Like

    1. This is great advice and I appreciate the compliment on my writing. I used to be a master of creative writing in my younger years and enjoyed it, though my depression makes it increasingly harder to write. I’ve haven’t even gotten so much in this blog that I want to write about, but I’m hoping that something I write will strike a nerve or evoke feelings in someone and just maybe it will help someone to read if my struggles and how I have/haven’t made it through.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So I downloaded the Alchemist on Audible.com today and listened to it on my drive to see my therapist. Or started to. I LOVE Jeremy Irons narrating it. I just love his voice and it makes it so interesting to listen to… thank you for the recommendation. Wish I had some good books to share with you, but most of them are ones you may have read. “Who Moved My Cheese”, “Surfing the Himalayas”, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior”, “Many Lives, Many Masters”. All GREAT books and ones that a good friend recommended to me. Loved them all. Have you read any of them?

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s