I feel like I have to save the day. Every day. I want to help everyone and volunteer for everything. And then I get upset when I’m too over-extended and I end up flaking on a lot of people/things, which makes me feel even worse.
Professionally, I try to take on everything by myself. Could be a fear that things won’t be done correctly if I don’t do them myself… Could be a need to be perceived as strong and capable of everything… Could be that I am just a glutton for punishment.
I am unable to set boundaries with men or friends in relationships. Bad behavior goes unnoticed, and unspoken of. I help to the point of hurting myself. I get taken advantage of, often. I’m afraid to say no and afraid that if I set boundaries that I will not be liked or that I will be seen as selfish.
This is all to my own detriment. It makes me sick and upset emotionally and mentally when I am unable to do everything for everyone. I’m pretty sure that this ties in, somehow, to my co-dependent nature. I need to learn that I can’t fight everyone’s battles for them.
I can’t even take care of my own basic needs right now, but I have no problem offering to drive an hour each way to pick my friends daughter up from school and take her home every day. WTF am I thinking?!
Healthy boundaries. I know there is such a thing. I just have no idea how to set them so that I don’t hurt myself and so that I don’t make people think I only care about myself. I must say though… 9 out of 10 times, when I need something, no one is there for me.
Maybe I’m confused about what boundaries are and why I need them in my life. Why everyone needs them in their lives. I can tell you one thing though… I have got to figure out how to get my life under control or I will never get better.