It’s been awhile. I think that most of my blogging happens in times of severe crisis and distress. Which has been a lot lately…. but I have to tell you. Something has changed.
I’m not sure what it is or how it happened. Or if it’s even gonna last. But I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m more optimistic and am even thinking about going back to work.
I have discovered a new hobby that I think I have a natural talent for. It’s floral arranging. Faux flowers. When I’m making arrangements, I feel like I’m at peace.
Everything I’m making currently is for a holiday boutique that is coming up in early November where I live. I have also started a website/shopify store that is still under construction, but I will be doing custom floral arrangements and gift baskets.
It might suck. And it might not do well. But regardless, it is making me feel good again. Giving me a purpose that is tangible. I don’t see myself in such an awful light anymore.
I do still have trouble leaving the house, and showering. Those 2 things I just can’t seem to do on a regular basis.
I think that the reason for this very well could be Lamictal or lamotrigine. It seems to have stabilized my moods even in the short 3 weeks since I started taking it.
I also started vaping a mixture of 4% THC to 45% CBD. Now I’m pretty against smoking pot for myself because it gives me horrible anxiety and I hate that “Stoney” feeling. However, I must say that this is actually reducing my anxiety. It’s calming, but not Stoney and doesn’t knock me on my ass.
I guess I just wanted to check in and update anyone who will listen on my well-being since I don’t have many friends to share with.
Have a great weekend everyone!